It’s not something we like to talk about. It’s not even something we like to admit having experienced. Tearfulness, irritability, difficulty sleeping and anxiety are extremely common around day 3 after giving birth. The drastic decrease in hormones, lack of sleep and change in body and lifestyle can all contribute to the baby blues, however, if these feelings continue longer than a couple of weeks, your ‘blues’ may have developed into Postnatal Depression (PND).
There is a good chance that you have either experienced PND or know someone who has. It’s common, so why is it we are more comfortable talking about it after the fact? We are often happy to tell people we had PND or that we were depressed after we have ‘gotten over it’. We struggle to say ‘I have PND’. We tend to whisper it or avoid the word altogether. Why is there so much shame or guilt surrounding this medical condition? Is it because we feel we have failed as a mother or worse, as a woman?
As a community of women, we need to change our attitude. We need to smarten up and realise no one is immune. PND doesn't discriminate and it can happen to the strongest, the most organised and the most educated women. Those experiencing PND haven’t failed in any way; they are simply struggling with a medical complication of giving birth. A condition that is common, understandable and 100% treatable.
Not having lived through it personally, I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like and so I won’t attempt to describe it. But what I do know is I have witnessed the most incredibly strong women admit to it, face it, go through it, and conquer it. Some with medication and some without. That is irrelevant. All I know is, I admire them for it and am so thankful they told me at the time so that I could be there for them. I am grateful that I was able to help calm the turbulence they felt at the time. After all, isn’t that what friends are for?
I want to start with some facts. My hope is that if we can increase our knowledge of PND and if we talk about it more often then the secrecy and stigma surrounding it will dissolve.
If you think you or a loved one may have PND there are a few things to look out for. You must remember that it is an illness that must be treated seriously. Reach out and confide in someone you trust and get professional help, the sooner you receive treatment the better the outcome.
So what is the difference between Baby Blues and Postnatal Depression?
Baby Blues
~ May start from 1stday after the baby is born until 2 weeks
- Mood swings
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Irritability (especially towards your partner or those close to you)
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Crying
- Reduced concentration
- Appetite problems
- Difficulty sleeping
Postnatal Depression
~ It typically starts as the ‘baby blues’ but progresses over time. May start anytime within the first year after the baby is born. Symptoms are more intense and last longer and may eventually affect your ability to care for your baby and handle daily tasks. Symptoms may include some or all of these:
- Depressed mood or severe mood swings
- Excessive crying
- Difficulty bonding with your baby
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
- Insomnia or sleeping too much
- Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy (more than the usual new mother tiredness)
- Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you use to enjoy
- Intense irritability and anger
- Fear that you’re not a good mother
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
- Inability to think clearly, concentrate and make decisions
- Severe anxiety or panic attacks
- Thoughts of harming yourself or baby
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Although very rare there are some women that suffer from Postnatal Psychosis. This is a medical emergency and treatment must be sought immediately. Symptoms include:
- Confusion and disorientation
- Obsessive thoughts about your baby
- Hallucinations or delusions
- Sleep disturbances
- Paranoia
- Attempts to harm yourself or your baby
So now we know what to look out for, how can we help someone we love or ourselves if going through PND?
It’s vital to remember that everyone is different and therefore may be experiencing varying degrees of depression. We need to open up the channels of communication. Talk. Talk. Talk. Vanish the feelings of embarrassment or shame. If you feel someone you know may have PND simply ask if they are Ok? Like really Ok? It is possible that your friend, partner or relative hasn’t even realised that they are feeling depressed or are displaying signs of PND. Explain to them what you see and what you know about PND. Stress your non-judgemental support and love. If you feel your loved one is at risk of harming themselves or their baby you must seek professional help right away.
If you think you may have PND, be empowered by the fact that you have identified it. That, in itself, is absolutely incredible and unbelievably brave. If you don’t have someone you can reach out to, please speak to a GP, your midwife or a child, family health nurse. There is so much help out there for you.
So what can be done to help prevent PND?
- If you have a history of mental health disorders tell your midwife or doctor. They will monitor you closely during pregnancy and after your baby is born.
- Set up a support network for after the birth of your baby. People you can talk to, trust and rely on.
- Limit your stress. Organise systems so that once your baby is born you are able to spend time bonding with your baby and less time worrying about shopping, bills, work etc.
- Eat a well-balanced diet. Fresh, nutrient-rich foods will fuel your body and mind at a time when your body is going through significant change. Ask people to bring you home-cooked meals instead of flowers or gifts for your baby.
- Exercise. Exercise. There isn’t enough emphasis put on postnatal exercise. No matter what type of birth you had, you can still move. Make it appropriate and listen to your body. There is no reason why you can’t put your baby in the pram and walk to your letterbox and back, walk around the block or down the road. The movement and fresh air will do wonders for your mental health.
- Be kind to yourself. Know that your body has changed, not forever but for now. Love yourself and embrace your new role as a mother. Yes, it is awesome and bloody hard at the same time but trust that ‘this too shall pass’. Nothing is forever. It will get easier. Life as you knew it, will return. Have faith.
In Australia, there are free Mental Heath Services ready to help you. please reach out to:
- PANDA National Helpline 1300 726 306
- ForWhen 1300 242 322
- Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
- In an Emergency 000
And as always, be kind to yourself, you are doing the best job you can!
